Creating the Space for Your Inner Wisdom to Emerge
"There is a voice that doesn't use words. Listen."
Two years ago, three days before Thanksgiving, I was diagnosed with cancer, a very low-grade, low-stage B-cell lymphoma. That same week one of my best friends lost her life to cancer. And that same month? I was in the thick of my first round of IVF. There was a LOT going on then… to say the least!
And yet, when I look back on that time, I’m amazed at how relatively calm I was. At how much joy I experienced, alongside the challenges.
Not that fear didn’t arise when I heard the “c” word. It did. But something within me also knew that everything was okay. And that no matter what happened – with the cancer, with having a baby – everything would be okay.
I told very few people about going through IVF or my cancer diagnosis at first. Not because I had any shame about either or wanted to “hide” them.
But when I’m going through a challenging time I’ve learned that I need to stay close to myself and allow my intuition and inner wisdom to guide me. And if I have a lot of people texting/calling/emailing me to check in it, even well-intentioned support can begin to “cloud” my own inner knowing.
The voice of our soul and our deepest inner wisdom speaks most clearly when we give it a quiet space to emerge.
I don’t know about you, but my life has a tendency to fill up quickly with meetings, commitments and obligations. Most of which I consciously choose to include in my days. Yet, my soul deeply craves quiet and stillness… especially when I’m moving through highly emotional or challenging time.
So, I want to share with you a few tips that I’ve found helpful for creating this space and stillness:
/ 1 / Carve it out for yourself.
I often get up at 6 am to have quiet time to meditate and journal before my day begins. If I don’t do it in the morning, often it won’t happen. What time of day might work best for you to take some time for quiet and stillness?
/ 2 /Ask for support.
As I was navigating IVF, a new cancer diagnosis, and the loss of my dear friend I got the support I needed. I met with my therapist regularly, made time for yoga, acupuncture and all the mind/body supports that nourished me. I balanced out time with others with much more time alone than I usually take. At that point in my life, I could feel how much I needed it. And I took it – no apologies.
It often meant saying “no” to social invitations and things I normally would say “yes” to, but the quiet time allowed me to go within and tune in to what the next “right” decision for me was each step of the way as I navigated my IVF and cancer journeys.
Are you craving more quiet and stillness in your life?
What is one small step you could take right now towards creating it?
/ 3 / Remind yourself of why you want to create more stillness and space in your life.
What is your intention in taking this time for yourself? For me, I feel much more grounded and connected to myself when I regularly take time to slow down, unplug and just “be.” This time is most potent and nurturing when I’m in Nature, so I often take long walks along the ocean or, when I’m at home in Colorado, hikes on my favorite trails.
What is YOUR “why” for creating more space and quiet time? Once this is clear, write it down somewhere on a sticky note where you’ll see it every day for a while. Let it remind you to schedule this time into your day. Even a few minutes can be powerful! Which leads to my next tip…
/ 4 / A little is better than none.
One of my clients is the mother of three young children under the age of seven. Quiet moments are rare in her bustling, busy household so what she’s done is begin to bring more mindfulness and stillness into her daily routine. A podcast-free commute, smart-phone free bath in the evenings, and tv-free dinners all have become a new part of her routine. ”As I slow down and cut back on my consumption of technology I am noticing a peace and calm emerge within me that hasn’t been there for a really long time.”
And even a few minutes spent in silence or stillness will nourish your soul. A 2006 research study showed that two minutes of quiet is more relaxing than even relaxing music or quiet pauses in between songs. And two hours of silence? It can lead to new cell development in the brain… a finding that may impact how we treat conditions such as depression and Alzheimer’s.
And if you’re thinking, “Holy crap, I’m already busy and now the holidays are here… how can I possibly find more time for quiet in my life right now?” you are not alone.
That’s why I created a FREE Facebook Live call for you: “Bringing More Peace and Ease to the Holidays. I’ll be riffing on this topic for 20-30 minutes this Thursday, December 7th beginning at 11:30 am PST/12:30 PM MST.
Since the "most wonderful" time of the year also has the potential for added stress and to throw us into overload mode, join me as I share some practical tips for nourishing yourself & keeping things as simple and ease-filled as possible as you move through this time of year.
All you have to do is head on over here on December 7th at 11:30 am.